HUGE setback in mentally

I probably hit one of the lowest lows I have hit in a while. I will tell you that in the past to get out frustration I used to cut. It's still a struggle for me not to some days, but it seemed I couldn't control anything in my life, including my weight, and that was what I could. I woke up this morning feeling pretty good about myself, my stomach looked good and flatter then usual, but then I STUPIDLY ate noodles for lunch when I couldn't find anything else and my stomach seemed to grow a few sizes. Sooo pissed off at myself I am. I don't know if it's just self destruction or what, but I did something I'd never even thought about before. I kneeled over the toilet and began trying to make myself throw it all back up, maybe then my stomach would look flatter like it had only an hour ago. I tried and tried, but could not make myself throw up, only gag. I sat there on the floor crying because I am so frustrated about where I am. I should not look like this at 21 years old. I just shouldn't. I should be able to wear a dress tomorrow and not worry about my arms, thighs and stomach. I'm so tired of it. I'm just worn out.


-A

Starting the Master Cleanse in 2 days!!! Have a wedding to go tomorrow : )

So, my boyfriend's brother is getting married tomorrow!!! It's so exciting. I have become so close with him and his soon to be wife in the past year and they are perfect for each other. She has actually become someone who I am very close to and can go to with anything. She has been there for me and genuinley always wanted to help. His brother has been sort of a stand-in for my brother, who does not live near us and he has helped from talks to helping fix my car. I have become so close with these people and can't wait to watch them get married tomorrow. Congratulations K&E!!!

So, the Master Cleanse. I went and bought the lemons for it, I just have to buy the maple syrup and cayenne pepper. Do you think I can drink those separately? Because I remember last time the taste was just horrible and I couldn't stand it. I'm scared that I won't be able to do it again. Getting very nervous, but we leave to see my family in 3 weeks and I want to look much better then I do right now. AND I HAVE to hit the gym harder then I have been. I need to get the motivation and be there at least 2 hours every single night doing at least 1.5 hours of cardio. I'm going to take it to the extreme these next 3 weeks. Let's hope that I get somewhere and can finally wear shorts!


Thanks for your support,

A

It's a bad day

Today I am feeling HUGE! I want to lose weight so bad, I'm so tired of looking this way. I'm so frustrated, I want to start the cleanse tomorrow. The only thing is that I have my boyfriends scholarship dinner on Thursday night. Will I even lose anything in 5 days? Is it worth it? I'm going to start it the week after too, will it give me a head start or just frustrate me. I had an orange for breakfast this morning and am trying to stay away from carbs. The boyfriend doesn't help that, he's craving truffle fries from Blanc Burger. Sigh. I will go and get a salad or burger without a bun. He wanted to go swimming today, and even though I know he's seen me in a bathing suit before, I just can't do it. I can't put myself in a swimming suit right now. I look ridiculous. Plus I'm extremely pale, I must be the only person who has gotten paler since summer starter. My foundation color is now porcelain. I'm going to post a picture of what I look like now and pray that now that it's out there I can never look like that again.


Frustrated,

A

Starting Master Cleanse Next Week

So, I was going to start the Master Cleanse within the next couple of days, but I thought it over and I need a time when I'm going to commit to it and stick with it. I have a business dinner for my boyfriend that I have to go to next week along with a wedding and a concert, so I'm going to wait until the week after. However, i am still going to be super healthy with my food choices up until that point. I am going to try to eat foods that don't really need to be cooked. I have protein shake mix and natural peanut butter and yogurt so hopefully that will give me a little help before the Master Cleanse. I will still be working out 4-5 days per week and as always look forward to hearing everyone's opinions and advice.

Always,

A

Welcome to A's Weight Loss Journey

Hey Bloggers!

Today I post my first blog of many which will be following my weight loss journey. I am currently 21 years old and have been struggling with my weight for years! While I have been working out for 2 months, I've not seen as much of a result as I"d like to so I thought I would up my game a little bit. My mom's boss does The Master Cleanse all of the time and so now it's my turn. Starting the day after tomorrow I will be starting the Master Cleanse and blogging about my weight loss. While on the Master Cleanse I will continue to work out in hopes of keeping and gaining muscle. I've seen and heard so many successful stories with the cleanse and hope that I can add myself to them. I look forward to any comments that people may have and hope that you will go with me on this journey : )

Goal:
Lose 25lbs by the Fourth of July

WISH ME LUCK!!!

A